Op-Ed: Is Love Real Anymore Or Are We Just Performing For The Timeline?

Let me say this upfront so nobody misquotes me later. I am not bitter. I am not anti-love. I am not sitting somewhere with a cup of tea judging couples in matching pajamas. But we need to talk.

Building relationships today feels harder than it should. Not because love disappeared and not because good people no longer exist, but because the way we live now makes real connection harder to grow.

Let’s be honest. A lot of us don’t even have proper work life balance anymore. Most people are exhausted. You wake up early, commute, deal with deadlines, answer emails at night, and scroll in bed pretending to relax while your brain is still processing the week. By the time Friday comes, the last thing you want to do is go out and meet someone new. You want to stay home, rest, and mentally prepare to survive Monday again. We say people are not serious anymore, but many people are simply tired. Tired people do not build relationships easily. They recover.

Then there is the texting culture. Today, you can talk to someone for three months and never actually meet them. You know their favorite color, their childhood story, and their daily routine, but you have never sat across from them to see how they treat people or how they handle real life situations. It is easier to send messages than to show up. Easier to disappear than to explain. Easier to react with an emoji than to invest real time.

Now let us address Valentine’s Day, because every year I have my coffee ready. Or sometimes a bag of chips. I sit quietly and watch the timeline like it is a competition show. Who will outdo who this year. Who is getting the bigger bouquet. Who is unveiling the surprise car. Who is crying on camera as if they had no idea a photographer was already positioned at the perfect angle.

It has almost become theatrical. A ribbon on a brand new car. Roses covering the entire living room. Stacks of designer boxes. Influencers acting shocked when flowers arrive at the door as if the delivery driver did not just coordinate with them the day before. At some point you start wondering whether this is love or content strategy.

Let me also be fair. I understand why some people feel pressured. In Western culture especially, Valentine’s Day leans heavily toward consumerism. The economy thrives on buying power. Americans spend over twenty billion dollars on Valentine’s Day each year. Millions of roses are sold. Billions are spent on chocolates, jewelry, and luxury gifts. When the entire system is built around selling romance, it is not surprising that people feel the need to perform it.

But here is the uncomfortable truth. Love is not supposed to be loud one day and silent the rest of the year. If the only time flowers show up is February 14, that is not romance. That is scheduling. If appreciation only happens when the world is watching, something is off. Real love should be consistent. It should show up in random Tuesdays, in small check-ins, in support during stressful weeks, in quiet encouragement when no one else sees it.

And yes, some public displays are genuine. Some couples are naturally expressive. But when love starts to look like a brand campaign, it becomes harder to separate sincerity from strategy. I have seen too many relationships flood social media with grand gestures only to quietly end a year or two later. Sometimes it really does feel like a wait for it moment.

The younger generation is watching all of this. They are absorbing it. They begin to believe that if someone is not going above and beyond in a dramatic way, then the relationship is lacking. That mindset is dangerous. Love is not easy. It requires time, patience, emotional maturity, and consistency. It requires two people willing to choose each other even when there is no camera and no applause.

And if you’re single, this part is for you. Don’t let social media make you feel like you’re behind. Everything that shines online is not gold. Being single can be a time to grow, to figure out what you want, and to get comfortable in your own space. The goal isn’t to rush into something. It’s to build something that actually makes sense. Besides, since when did being single become a crime?

Mind your business. Build your life. Protect your peace. That alone will save you a lot of stress.

If love comes, let it be real. Not staged. Not forced. Not done for views. Let it grow in private. Let it be solid enough that it doesn’t need an audience to feel important. And if you’re in a relationship, here’s a simple question. If there were no posts, no likes, no comments, would you still show up for each other the same way?

That answer matters more than any over-the-top gift. Because once the camera is off and the comments stop, it’s just the two of you. That’s where the real test is.